Throughout history, scientific-minded children have mined their garden and seashores for specimen such as slugs and clams to use towards their own maniacal aims. Some of those eerily interested children grew up to become the modern scientists we know today, and recent scientific breakthroughs in the field of biofuel technology indicated their passion for scientifically utilizing the natural power of tiny creatures has not waned. In particular, scientists have succeeded in harvesting energy from snails and clams to power an electric motor; a Frankenstein-esque move that indicates a brash leap into the morally uncertain realms of 'Animal Cyborg' development.
Recently, U.S. and Israeli researchers transformed three living clams into one living battery by implanting the clams, and hooking them together, which resulted in enough energy to run an electric motor. The process of implanting the fuel cells into the clams was very challenging, and consisted of the scientists planting electrodes into the blood-filled body cavities of the clam, so that the clam’s blood sugar could energize the biofuel cells.
So far the weird operation – you have to admit, a group of scientists operating on three tiny clams is a strange image – has not yielded outstanding results. The amount of energy generated by the clam robot –29 millijoules -- was enough to turn a motor approximately a quarter of a full turn in an hour. Wow, such painstaking build-up -- with the implanting of electrodes into bloody clam chambers -- and for such a cheap, tiny, almost unobservable result. I think the problem here is the size of the creatures selected. Clams are ridiculously small. The rowing Guinea Pigs from the Geico commercial got more kinetic results than these puny mollusks.
GEICO GUINEA PIG BIOFUEL TECHNOLOGY
Regardless of the extent of results, the findings are exciting as they illuminate a possible future civilization run entirely off the effort of lesser creatures. Imagine the possibilities! Panda bear run escalators? Ooh, a great whale run rollercoaster! When animals are our energetic slaves we can finally sit back and enjoy the impact of our energy consumption guilt free.